COVID-19 and 2020 so far

Coronavirus. The first time I heard about this virus in China was in December. I was in the thick of planning our annual big X4 event with Qualtrics and we heard from one of our manufacturers in China that one of our huge swag shipments might be delayed because their factories were shut down due to this illness called the "Coronavirus". This was really stressful at the time because it was a huge order, and not having it arrive would have been a huge loss that would have majorly impacted our event. It's so weird for me to think now that in that moment, that was my concern. I had no idea how much things would change, how much my life would be impacted, and how quickly things could escalate. Never in my wildest imagination did I think that in the modern world I'd live to see times like these.

January and early February flew by as we were busy planning for X4. We had ski passes and were skiing a lot, having as much fun as possible during this crazy work time for us. Andrew and I were both kind of rocked when Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash. But we started hearing about Coronavirus more and more at work. We are an international company at Qualtrics so I have lots of friends I work with in various parts all over the world. We knew it was growing fast, but for some reason I thought the U.S. would be untouchable. And even if it was touchable, we would be able to quickly and efficiently nip it before it affected me much.

In February we started to get nervous. Coronavirus hit the US and people were starting to talk about how quickly it spreads, and through contact. It was the first time I had heard the term "social distancing" and more and more people were talking about how it may be good to avoid big groups for the time being. 

As February wore on I started to get nervous about our event canceling. Conferences in Australia, Europe, China, and other parts of the world started canceling. Then Facebook and Salesforce canceled theirs. The week before we canceled Domopalooza announced their cancelation. It was really surreal and I couldn't believe it when our boss announced to us we would cancel. I cried lots of tears and was disappointed. 

Once the reality set in of what this meant, I started to get nervous. I was seeing what was happening in Italy with how fast the virus was spreading, and talking to my friends in London and Australia who were dealing with lockdowns, empty grocery store shelves, and limitations on where they could go and when. It started to sink in that this virus was here, it wasn't going anywhere, and I needed to prepare.

While we have always had a decent amount of food storage for emergencies, I felt a lot of anxiety thinking about not being able to buy hand sanitizer, cleaning products, diapers, and formula for Ellie like I was seeing in other parts of the world. The first thoughts I had were I needed to prepare. I dropped the kids off at Candice's one morning and instead of going into the office I spent the day at Costco and Walmart. I knew I might be being crazy but I didn't really care. This was before the rush happened but I could see a handful of people getting prepared like I was, but nothing crazy like we would see in the coming weeks. I spent about $1,200 dollars on groceries in about 3 hours. I was careful not to hoard or buy things we wouldn't use, eat or need. But I bought all the things that gave me comfort. Lots of baby food, 12 boxes of formula for Ellie, Chance's favorite foods, lots of frozen chicken and hamburger. Lots of yummy snacks and tons of diapers, wipes, tampons, and cleaning stuff. Looking back I am SO glad I did this. Lots of people thought I was acting silly at the time. Many of my friends and family were still not taking the virus seriously, but because I was so in touch with many people globally I feel like I had a pretty clear view early on as to how serious this was. 

On March 11th a global pandemic was officially declared. About a week after I stocked up and got organized all hell broke loose when Rudy Gobert, center for the Utah Jazz, tested positive for Coronavirus and shut down the NBA. They literally just stopped playing and shut everything down in ONE day. Everything seemed to change after that. I couldn't believe they would just stop the NBA. It still seems surreal to me. Schools closed. Pretty much every event after that was canceled. People stopped gathering, traveling, and started the "social distancing" movement per the CDC and WHO's recommendation to "flatten the curve", as there was a fear that the virus would overwhelm our healthcare system. Disneyland closed and I may or may not have cried about that. 

March 15th was the last time our family got together for my birthday. We hung out at my mom's house and did cake and presents, but my birthday was kind of lost in the craziness as was to be expected. Since then we haven't touched, hugged, or been near anyone except for our little family of Chance, Ellie, Andrew and me. 

I saw this on Facebook and wanted to post here so I can look back and remember all that has changed during this crazy time...

• Gas prices 2 miles from home was $1.99
• All schools are canceled - yes canceled
• Social distancing measures on the rise.
• Tape on the floors at grocery stores and gas stations others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other.
• Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors.
• Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed.
• Parks, trails, entire cities locked up.
• Entire sports seasons canceled.
• Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - canceled.
• Weddings, family celebrations, funerals, holiday gatherings - canceled.
• No masses, churches are closed.
• No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, now 10 or more.
• Don't socialize with anyone outside of your home.
• Children's outdoor play parks are closed.
• We are to distance from each other.
• Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.
• Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
• Panic buying sets in and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towel no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer.
• Groery store shelves are empty.
• Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer, and PPE.
• Government closes the border to all non-essential travel.
• Fines are established for breaking the rules.
• Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of COVID-19 patients.
• Press conferences daily from the President. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.
• Government incentives to stay home.
• Barely anyone on the roads.
• People wearing masks and gloves outside.
• Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
• Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families. Many are sleeping in their garages.
• People are making masks from homemade fabrics to donate to hospitals in short supply
• This is the Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.

This has truly been a surreal time for me. I wake up every morning and remember what is going on and it continues to surprise me, day in and day out. Andrew and I have both been working from home for almost a month now, and it's felt like an eternity. We've now canceled trips to Italy, Hawaii, Disneyland and possibly Lake Powell in May. 

While this has been a challenging time, it really has been positive in a lot of ways. We have never spent so much time together at home. We are constantly traveling, working, and doing things. We have very active social lives and have lots going on what feels like constantly. So for us to be forced to be home, slow down, and spend time together has been really great for us. I have never made so many meals and we have never eaten at our table together so often. We also have had to get creative on ways to entertain ourselves. We've had lots of movie nights, lots of crafting, lots of working out, practicing braiding my hair HAHA,  lots of baking and cooking, lots of chores, and lots of wrestling.   

 

I have also spent a good amount of time taking cute pictures of my kids, online shopping, and even gave the boys haircuts this weekend which ended up being a total success! On some days I find myself dressing Ellie in darling outfits just to enjoy her cuteness, even thought we have nowhere to go! 

^^they really both are so handsome^^

Tonight I had to leave the house and take a minute for myself though. Sometimes the weight of all this catches up to me and I feel like I need to step away for a second, breathe, and be sad for a minute. I know it may sound dramatic but I feel like I'm grieving what used to be. My old life of carefree travel, lots of play and lots of adventure and fun. I know it's selfish to think this way because so many people have it so much worse. We've been fortunate (so far) to keep our jobs in this, to have a nice home and good food and lots to keep us busy. I know we are so blessed and this is hard for me. I can't imagine how hard it is on other people who have more stress of illness, job loss, financial stresses and more. I drove around tonight to recalibrate and felt like I just needed a second to let myself be sad. I got a drink at Sonic and while I was driving saw how many businesses were completely empty. The parking lots were empty, and most had signs on the door that they were closed. I felt like a crazy person just driving and crying for a little while, thinking of how many people are struggling and how much life has changed so quickly.

I know things are going to be okay. I know that they will get better and some day this will be a distant memory, but that doesn't make this time any less challenging. I think it's okay to have emotion about this, and to go back and forth between strength and needing a moment to grieve the past. I think it will be some time before things get back to normal. There may even be a new normal after this. 

Every day has its own challenges, but for now I'm going to keep waking up, keep working out, keep taking care of my babies and doing everything I can to control what I can control within my home.

xoxo

-steph

PS -  I am going to keep journaling this journey for a while because writing seems to be therapeutic for me!